Why do unwelcome facts feel so hard to accept? We don’t just ask “Is this true?” – we ask “Do I want it to be true?” In this article, I discuss how motivated reasoning skews our thinking, and how a small moment of emotional awareness can stop it in its tracks.
Reducing suffering matters, but it’s only half of mental health. My latest Southern Star article looks at recent research showing that well-being grows not just by removing pain, but by adding back pleasure and engagement in daily life.
Even when life deals a painful blow – like the end of a relationship – it’s often not the event itself that crushes us, but the story we tell ourselves about what it means. My latest article explores this idea by discussing a therapy session between the founder of CBT, Dr Aaron Beck, and a depressed female client.
Have you ever found yourself stuck in somewhere you don’t want to be stuck, and thought: how am I here again? We often fall into unhelpful patterns over time. Sometimes we defend these patterns because the alternative – seeing our own role in it – feels harder. Using Portia Nelson’s short poem Autobiography in Five Chapters, my latest piece explores the slow, human process of climbing out of old habits and choosing a different path.
We all seek reassurance on occasion, but what about when reassurance-seeking is persistent, excessive, or even compulsive? In this column, I explain why reassurance-seeking maintains and ultimately worsens anxiety.
Do you understand how a bicycle works? For example, could you do a simple drawing of a bicycle? Studies show us humans are an overconfident bunch, and we actually know a lot less than we think. My latest Southern Star column looks at the research on over-confidence, and its everyday implications for our mental health.
We all have good days, we all have bad days. It’s not realistic to expect every day to be a sunny one, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could bottle those happy moments and savour them for longer? My latest Southern Star column explores a simple way to do just that: tracking your emotions.
2025 · 18. September 2025
We don’t remember life as it really happened – we remember the story we tell ourselves. On that point, a bad ending really can cloud a good memory, whether it’s a relationship, a job, or just a day that finished poorly. This piece explores that bias, how it shapes our decisions, and how to give past joys their due even when things don’t finish well.
2025 · 04. September 2025
"Why do you think that?" It’s a simple question, but when asked in the right way, it can transform how we support struggling loved ones.
“Why do you think that?" is an example of Socratic questioning – a method of gently exploring and challenging thoughts through open-ended, thought-provoking questions. My latest column looks at the power of Socaratic questions, and how this isn’t just a tool for therapists – it’s a powerful way for anyone to support a friend, partner, or child.
'You are afraid of surrender because you don’t want to lose control. But you never had control; all you had was anxiety’. Those words from author Elizabeth Gilbert will strike a chord with anyone who strives to control the big and small details of daily life. My latest column explores how attempting to control everything keeps us on edge. Checking, overthinking, over-planning, rehearsing – what we think of as being in control is often just anxiety wearing a convincing mask.