Do you ever look back on something that once seemed important to you and wonder: wow, why did I think that was such a big deal? My latest Southern Star column explores why "nothing in life is as important as you think it is, when you are thinking about it".
“Just stop worrying”, “think positive”, “don’t think about it” – if you’re a worrier, this isn’t helpful advice. My latest column looks at advice from CBT expert Dr Robert Leahy: learn to worry more effectively.
Many people fear making mistakes and react with shame or embarrassment when they err. However, you cannot learn any new skill without making mistakes. My latest column stresses that instead of trying to avoid mistakes, you must be willing to make them.
Worrying about a problem helps us to solve a problem – doesn’t it?
Well, no. Worrying and problem-solving are very different things. Indeed, research shows worrying actually makes us less likely, not more likely, to solve our problems.
And yet, worry can feel productive. What’s going on? Let's take a closer look.
Worry shows I care, it’s irresponsible not to worry, worry prevents bad things from happening, worry motivates me, worry protects me from negative emotions - do you have positive beliefs about worry? Answering some of the questions in this piece will help you find out.
One reason why worriers worry is because they have positive beliefs about worry, not least the unhelpful and untrue notion that worry is a positive personality trait, that worry shows you care and are a good person. If you really believe this, then you’re never going to kick the worry habit, because not worrying will leave you feeling uneasy and guilty. Let's take a closer look at the difference between worrying and caring.
When we encounter something new, we often feel a mixture of curiosity and anxiety. Curious, because newness can be intriguing, exciting; anxious, because newness can also bring uncertainty and risk. This column explores why we often let anxiety win this internal battle, but suggests we should do the opposite: that is, do what you value and follow your curiosity.
Sometimes, our emotions cause us to do things that aren’t good for us. However, you don’t have to be a prisoner to your emotions. In this article, I examine the opposite action strategy – that is, do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do.