2023 · 07. September 2023
You might want to change your life, but nevertheless keep doing things that make you unhappy. Why? My latest Southern Star column explores this all-too-common problem.
2023 · 10. August 2023
The father of CBT, the late Dr Aaron Beck, was fond of saying that ‘there is more to the surface than meets the eye’. What did he mean? Beck liked to illustrate his point by telling a story about an anxious and promiscuous client he was treating. Why was she anxious? Read on...
2023 · 15. June 2023
My last column looked at the power of anticipation, and how looking forward to positive events is a free source of happiness. However, what if you rarely allow yourself to look forward and get excited? Not only that, what if you are more familiar with negative anticipation, and frequently spend days dreading an upcoming event? My latest column looks at why anticipatory anxiety is a bad strategy and why it's like you are "bleeding before you are cut".
2023 · 23. February 2023
Many people are uncomfortable with having mixed feelings, with ambivalence. This is often seen in relationships. A person might say, “I really like my partner but he does some things which really annoy me. I wish I didn’t have these contradictory feelings, maybe he’s not right for me”.
In reality, it's normal to have mixed feelings, whether about your partner, your family, your work, your friends. My latest column explores why it's important to learn to tolerate ambivalence.
2022 · 16. December 2022
Treating anxiety can be reduced to one simple principle: ‘Anxiety is maintained by avoidance, and willing exposure is the active ingredient of recovery. That is essential; all the rest is commentary.’ My latest Southern Star column explores why tackling anxiety means tackling avoidance.
2022 · 01. December 2022
Tackling anxiety means choosing to do some hard things, such as facing feared situations, so you have to be motivated. To get motivated, ask yourself this: what have you lost to anxiety? My latest column looks at some ideas from anxiety expert Dr Jonathan Grayson on how to undertake this vital exercise.
2022 · 03. November 2022
Do you ever look back on something that once seemed important to you and wonder: wow, why did I think that was such a big deal? My latest Southern Star column explores why "nothing in life is as important as you think it is, when you are thinking about it".
2022 · 03. October 2022
“Just stop worrying”, “think positive”, “don’t think about it” – if you’re a worrier, this isn’t helpful advice. My latest column looks at advice from CBT expert Dr Robert Leahy: learn to worry more effectively.
2022 · 25. August 2022
Many people fear making mistakes and react with shame or embarrassment when they err. However, you cannot learn any new skill without making mistakes. My latest column stresses that instead of trying to avoid mistakes, you must be willing to make them.
2022 · 11. August 2022
Worrying about a problem helps us to solve a problem – doesn’t it?
Well, no. Worrying and problem-solving are very different things. Indeed, research shows worrying actually makes us less likely, not more likely, to solve our problems.
And yet, worry can feel productive. What’s going on? Let's take a closer look.