When life is good, you’re more optimistic, more confident, more open to trying new things. But when you’re down, you’re more pessimistic, less confident, less open to actions that might ease your plight. In last week's Southern Star, I explained how a vicious circle is at the heart of most emotional problems and how, through effort and awareness, you can turn that unhelpful, vicious circle into a helpful, virtuous circle.
Denial is a common thing. It's common in dysfunctional families, where problems get swept under the carpet. It's common in relationships; often, people turn a blind eye to problems for years until they became too big to ignore. These are obvious examples, but denial can also resemble what Dr Jonathan Grayson calls a wishing ritual, where you keep comparing reality to fantasy. ‘Reality may not be as pretty as fantasy', says Grayson, 'but it is far better than the misery of wishing'.