Every January, we get the same tired advice about New Year’s resolutions. Rather than adding to that pile, here are 10 relatively random observations about change in January.
Some may not resonate, but hopefully a few will strike a chord.
1 - January encourages moral language around behaviour. We talk about “good” and “bad” days, about being “clean”, “disciplined” or “slipping”. The problem with this is that old habits become judgments about character. From a mental health perspective, that’s far from ideal. Shame is not a helpful driver of change, and moralising behaviour often results in demotivation and avoidance rather than persistence.
2 - Some resolutions are attempts to become someone else. Many goals carry an implicit rejection of the current self. It’s a good idea, then, to be less interested in personality overhauls than in helping yourself function better as the person you already are. Change pursued as self-correction tends to be harder to sustain than change grounded in self-understanding.
3 - Motivation is overrated. January places enormous faith in enthusiasm and motivation. In reality, mood invariably fluctuates, energy dips, and life intervenes. Try to remember that you don’t actually have to feel motivated to get XYZ done. Instead, take a stance of action first, motivation afterwards. That is, action leads to motivation and momentum. Try to make the active choice, even if you don’t feel like it at the time.
4 - People overestimate how noticeable their changes will be to others. Resolutions are sometimes fuelled by the hope of external validation, but the reality is most of us are largely absorbed in our own concerns. If you’re relying on others to notice your progress, you’re likely to stumble when they don’t.
5 - January optimism often ignores context. Financial and work pressures, family responsibilities, and health issues don’t pause for resolutions. Goals often fail because they assume a life that isn’t real. It’s wiser to plan for disruptions and to make goals that can endure them.
6 - Many resolutions are borrowed desires. People often adopt goals that reflect cultural pressure rather than personal values. When a goal doesn’t quite belong to you, it becomes much harder to return to it when things get uncomfortable. Ask yourself: am I doing this for me, or for someone else?
7 - We tend to think of change as a straight line, but it rarely works that way. Resolution culture encourages the idea of either steady progress or total failure. Like most things in life, the reality is messier: steps forward, sideways moves, a step back now and then. Those detours are part of the process, not evidence of failure.
8 - The mind often resists the unfamiliar. Even positive change can feel destabilising if it unsettles a familiar sense of self. Some habits persist simply because they’re familiar, not because they work. Experiencing some discomfort is normal, and being aware of this can help you navigate change without giving up.
9 - A lapse is not a relapse. A lapse is a brief return to an old habit; a relapse is a more complete slide back into previous patterns. Lapses are normal, so don’t treat one as proof of failure. If you treat it as a temporary slip, then recovery is far more likely.
10 - There’s nothing special about January. Years ago, I wrote about the idea of ‘begin again’, borrowing a phrase from the late Brendan Kennelly. However, while the idea of a fresh start is obviously appealing, there is nothing magical about January 1. Every day offers the same opportunity to begin again. Placing too much weight on one date simply raises the stakes, risking future disappointment.
Resolutions can sometimes do more harm than good, but sensible goals still have their place. And remember that if January passes you by, February will do just as well.
(First published in Southern Star on 31/12/2025)